Cosmic Joke
by Dulcedecorumest
Summary: Damon meets Faith while she's on a mission.


**Title**: Cosmic Joke

**Author**: Dulcedecorumest

**Fandom**: BTVS/TVD

**Characters**: Damon/Faith

**Prompt**: BtVS/Vampire Diaries, Faith/Damon - please just kill me

stainofmylove's LJ.

**Word count**: 1,253

COSMIC JOKE

Damon watched the brunette as she gyrated on the dance floor, dark silky hair flying in every which direction with wild unaffected abandon.

She reminded him of a mustang filly he'd bought for Stefan when they were still human. Before the war, before Katherine, when he had still been idealistic, sixteen, and so very naive.

The mustang filly's mahagony coat had gleamed dangerously in the sun as it galloped, bucking Stefan's slender, gangly weight off and tossing her mane wildly.

Damon had ended up taming it himself, Stefan good-naturedly thanking his brother for the gift then gifting it back to him. Before he could name it though, the filly had tried to break out of the stable on her third night, injuring herself fatally and having to be put down. Claus, their overseer had pulled the trigger, both Stefan and Damon too scared and distraught respectively to do it themselves.

The lithe-bodied dancer reached out from the melee of admiring men and pulled him towards her by the lapels, rudely shaking Damon out of his reverie. His eyes widened with appreciation at the rapier sharp grin encased in cherry red lipstick and the bourbon-brown eyes that twinkled with the promise of a good time like no other.

She swayed her hips to the beat of the music, dancing so close to him; Damon forgot that the thrumming in his chest wasn't his own heart beating but hers.

This woman was the good kind of dangerous. The kind that could give Katherine a run for her money, without the vampire drama. Now that would be a refreshing change.

"Name's Faith." The brunette shouted over the music, wrapping her arms around his neck and fixing a look so sultry and promising, Damon felt himself go hard instantaneously.

"Damon."

Her smile widened with appreciation at the sudden feel of pressure against her stomach. Damon's eyes twinkled with mischief. Oh she was a bad one alright and she was just what the doctor ordered.

"Is that a gun in your pocket Damon or are you just happy to meet me?" Faith asked with a leer.

Damon felt his lips stretch in an answering grin, holding her closer and meeting her hip movements with some moves of his own. He saw the moment her pupils dilated, her body temperature and blood pressure rising. Leaning down his lips sought hers out, marveling at their incredible softness as she opened her mouth to him before overtaking the kiss herself.

She had a lot of spirit for such a slender, young thing, Damon thought to himself.

Their tongues tussled, struggling for dominance, until Damon decided to let her lead a little. He'd make her pay later.

Faith pulled away from him, eyes dark and wide with surprise and desire. They reminded Damon of another set of brown eyes that had the power to make a fool out of him. No, make that two sets of brown eyes, since Katherine and Elena were different people. He wondered if it was too soon to declare himself in love with Faith now, too.

Belatedly, Damon also wondered why she was surprised at what she felt when he was sure she could see it on his face too, but before he could articulate it, she was dragging him off the dance floor and out of the club via the back door.

Once they were out in the alley she shoved him against the dumpster and raked her fingers down his chest then up his inner thighs, bringing them to meet at his crotch. Faster than he could say... well anything, she was unzipping his pants and reaching into the waistband of his boxers to free him.

The grip she flexed around him made him groan, "Oh My God!"

Faith smiled to herself as she worked her hand on him, brown eyes firmly focused on him as she leaned forward and kissed him like she needed his kisses in order to exist. It was intoxicating as hell.

Damon kissed her back, marveling at the skill this girl possessed as she expertly pumped him, instinctively knowing when to increase the pressure and when to palm him at the head.

Just as he was about to explode, she pulled away from him momentarily, licking her palm then wrapping it back around his shaft. She pumped him a couple more times, playing with the head and making his knees shake like a leaf in the wind. What was this woman doing to him?

"Say please." Faith whispered throatily.

Damon swallowed convulsively and drew her closer to him, kissing her intensely.

"Please."

"Please what?"

"Please Faith, don't stop." Damon hazily wondered when the last time a woman had made him beg was. At least a 100 years had gone by which definitely made the memory fuzzy.

Faith leaned forward and kissed him again. Slowing working her hand again. Damon's hips thrust into her hand with persistent desperation and she smiled into their kiss.

"Damon..."

"Yes?"

"I know you're a vampire."

For some insane reason that turned him on even more and he felt his climax build up. She did not relent increasing her speed and pressure until he'd come.

Faith pulled away and snapped the bones in her neck languorously as she wiped her hand down his shirt front.

"Oh you're so going to pay for that."

"I doubt it." Faith said with a playful shrug.

Damon's eyes raked over her black leather mini-skirt and white tube top. Admiring the way her sexy black suede boots clung to her calves, he brought his eyes back up to hers. She was watching him with an amused glint in her eye he was going to wipe out with some vigorous fucking. And a little sample of course.

"So how'd you know I was a vampire?"

"No heartbeat, pale as snow, and stereotypical dark clothing." Faith said with a shrug.

Damon studied her and wondered who she was.

"And who are you?"

"Bella to your Edward." She purred.

Damon rolled his eyes at this, his rising excitement dampening with irritation, it was too much to hope for that she wouldn't be insane, "Fuck, you people are everywhere. Please just kill me now."

Faith took a step forward and kissed him thoroughly before sliding down to her knees, Damon missed the action that pulled a stake out of her suede boots but he heard the sound of the wood rasping against the soft material.

He only had a split second to stare at her in betrayed shock as she grinned apologetically and shoved it where his human heart should have been.

"As you wish." Faith said with a grunt.

Damon's hand came up to try and stop her but he was too late, she twisted the stake with a satisfactory use of superhuman strength and it was over.

Faith pulled her stake out of the dead vamp, simultaneously sliding his ring off his hand and tucked them both in her boot. She knew a couple 'good' vamps who could use it. Stepping away from the vampire corpse she felt a twinge of regret then stifled it, turning her back on Damon.

With a small frown she thought this new type of vamp that didn't turn into dust and wore rings that enabled it to walk in the sun, was intriguing. Running down the alleyway she calculated how much time it would take her to get to Mystic Falls. Apparently Damon had a brother with an identical ring and she couldn't wait to meet him.

-XXX-

BIT OF POST FOR SECOND HALF

Once they were out in the alley she shoved him against the dumpster and raked her fingers down his chest then up his inner thighs, bringing them to meet at his crotch. Faster than he could say... well anything, she was unzipping his pants and reaching into the waistband of his boxers to free him.

The grip she flexed around him made him groan, "Oh My God!"

Faith smiled to herself as she worked her hand on him, brown eyes firmly focused on him as she leaned forward and kissed him like she needed his kisses in order to exist. It was intoxicating as hell.

Damon kissed her back, marveling at the skill this girl possessed as she expertly pumped him, instinctively knowing when to increase the pressure and when to palm him at the head.

Just as he was about to explode, she pulled away from him momentarily, licking her palm then wrapping it back around his shaft. She pumped him a couple more times, playing with the head and making his knees shake like a leaf in the wind. What was this woman doing to him?

"Say please." Faith whispered throatily.

Damon swallowed convulsively and drew her closer to him, kissing her intensely.

"Please."

"Please what?"

"Please Faith, idon't stop/i." Damon hazily wondered when the last time a woman had made him beg was. At least a 100 years had gone by which definitely made the memory fuzzy.

Faith leaned forward and kissed him again. Slowing working her hand again. Damon's hips thrust into her hand with persistent desperation and she smiled into their kiss.

"Damon..."

"Yes?"

"I know you're a vampire."

For some insane reason that turned him on even more and he felt his climax build up. She did not relent increasing her speed and pressure until he'd come.

Faith pulled away and snapped the bones in her neck languorously as she wiped her hand down his shirt front. He stared down at the stains and looked back up at her.

"This is 100% raw silk! You're so going to pay for that."

"I doubt it." Faith said with a playful shrug.

Damon's eyes raked over her black leather mini-skirt and white tube top. Admiring the way her sexy black suede boots clung to her calves, he brought his eyes back up to hers. She was watching him with an amused glint in her eye he was going to wipe out with some vigorous fucking. And a little sample of course.

"How'd you know I was a vampire?"

"No heartbeat, pale as snow, and stereotypical dark clothing." Faith said with a shrug.

Damon studied her and wondered who she was.

"And who are you?"

"Bella to your Edward." She purred.

Damon rolled his eyes at this, his rising excitement dampening with irritation, it was too much to hope for that she wouldn't be insane, "Fuck, you people are everywhere. Please just kill me now."

Faith took a step forward and kissed him thoroughly before sliding down to her knees, Damon missed the action that pulled a stake out of her suede boots but he heard the sound of the wood rasping against the soft material.

He only had a split second to stare at her in betrayed shock as she grinned apologetically and shoved it where his human heart should have been.

"As you wish." Faith said with a grunt.

Damon's hand came up to try and stop her but he was too late, she twisted the stake with a satisfactory use of superhuman strength and it was over.

Faith pulled her stake out of the dead vamp, simultaneously sliding his ring off his hand and tucked them both in her boot. She knew a couple 'good' vamps who could use it. Stepping away from the vampire corpse she felt a twinge of regret then stifled it, turning her back on Damon.

With a small frown she thought this new type of vamp that didn't turn into dust and wore rings that enabled it to walk in the sun, was intriguing. Running down the alleyway she calculated how much time it would take her to get to Mystic Falls. Apparently Damon had a brother with an identical ring and she couldn't wait to meet him.


End file.
